Character: BRIAN, (late teens) – a Jew
BRIAN: My mom wouldn't let me go to Cornell because they have this ridiculously high suicide rate. Bridges. Tons of bridges. And she said if I went there I'd jump to my death. She went to Smith, a women's college. Do they have women's colleges in Pakistan? I'm guessing they don't because of you know, the thing. With women. The thing with women and you people. Of course, I mean Muslims, not terrorists. I'm a terrorist and I'm not a Muslim. I'm just upset. Like you. At the world. I wanted to study psychology but mother said I should go to Hofstra and stay close to home, close to her womb. Every time we'd meet new people she'd reference me as the boy who fell out of her womb. "Can you believe this came out of that?" she'd ask perfect strangers. "My bubbulah." I got into Cornell on twenty grand a year scholarship. But she said, "No, you can't go, you'll kill yourself." So I said, you're right, fuck Cornell, I'm joining the Mujahedeen.