Character: CHARLIE, 30s-40s, Divorced, crass, boisterous. No one holds a candle to her sexual experiences.
CHARLIE: The penis is a remarkable appendage. To me, important as hell. I'll bet some girls don't care how big or small their man's penis is: but I fail to understand how a woman can go on believing she's satisfied if her partner has an unsterdy penis the size of a crayon. Think we girls can actually find vibrators a worthy substitute? I say no. I say there's women out there who buy dinky little rubber cocks with Dura-cell's so as not to humiliate their unendowed lovers; but in private you know damn well they're goin' to town on a dildo the size of a subway car. (beat) Not sayin' it doesn't work both ways, mind you. Guy could have a spouse, girlfriend, whatever, who's as wide as a summer bonnet, then what?
He better better be hangin' perfection. See, it's all based on fit. All based on comfort. Of which I have none. (grabs herself again) Ooh. That smarts.
But I like it hard; I love it rough: headboard clangin', mattress smackin', screaming, moanin', wakin' the neighbor kind of thing. I mean, who likes it quiet?
