Character: GENERAL MAYHEM, retired wrestler, 40s.
MAYHEM: Tell you what, Leslie. If you're absolutely sure you didn't take this check, I'll hang onto it and release it to our friends in the news media at the end of the night. But if you're not sure — if, in other words, you need to verify whether or not your campaign is being bankrolled by a bunch of hound-humpers, come on over here and take a look-see. It's your funeral. And I guess it's my turn to pick, huh? Okay, let's see what we've got here. (He draws several cards in rapid succession.) "What's your policy on terrorism?" Don't like it. "How do you feel about gay marriage?" Never tried it... Oh, here's a good one. "Dear nut-job: What the hell makes you think you deserve to be a Senator?" (A slight pause. He takes the question seriously.) Well, let me tell you this... (checking the card) ... Mr. Ed Abernathy from Winnemucca... it's a ballsy question, and I'm gonna give you a ballsy answer. I don't know if I deserve to be Senator. That's up to you. But I'll tell you this: With me, what you see is what you get. I'm not gonna tell you I'm a man of the people and then drive away in a limo. I'm not gonna tell you I'm fighting for your interests and then sell you out to my rich friends in the nuclear power industry. And I'll tell you one thing: I know exactly where my money is coming from, and it's not from a bunch of sickos who think Lassie is a porno movie!
