Character: Squeaky Mouse: #5.0. One of the younger players. Is usually adorable without trying but still has a tough side to her. Early 20s, Race neutral.
(She comes out wearing a graduation cap and gown, a remix of pomp and circumstance playing. She’s practicing her valedictorian speech.)
SQUEAKY MOUSE: Friends, Romans, Countrymen, lend me your ears.
We did it!!! We’re fucking graduating!!
What’d’you mean I can’t say it like that?
It’s graduation day, who gives a shit what I’m even saying, nobody’s even listening.
Can you stop rolling your eyes at me? Fine, I’ll just read it from –
(Clears her throat)
Today we graduate.
You know, all of my life, I’ve been short. No, like, my whole life. I was always the runty kid. The slowest. I bet you think I’m gonna say it made me invisible. But it didn’t. It made me small. In everyone’s eyes. Like an ant. A bug that could just be swatted away. It made my heart small, shrivel up in my chest. Made me look at this world full of giants, scared. Like an ant.
But then, I started doing roller derby. And a crazy thing happened. I got taller. Instantly. Literally, three inches. And I started knocking bitches – women – down, and getting knocked down and getting back up again. I’m short, but I’m fast, and I’m powerful and I got good balance and – best of all – I don’t give up. So now, even when I take my skates off, I don’t shrink no more.
There’s gonna be times in our lives, outside the womb of college – Can I say womb? okay – Outside the womb of college where we’re gonna feel less than. We’re gonna feel short. But it’s just an illusion – a trick of the giants around us. Don’t let nobody take away your voice – make it louder. Don’t let nobody step on you. Trip them instead. And don’t let nobody shrivel your heart. Do what you gotta to make it grow.
So how about that?
That was good, right?
Yeah, I know it was.