"Wood's keen sense of humor tempers the play's darker undertones and makes them go down smooth."

—NYTheatre.com

"...unabashedly and insightfully assesses the cost of love and freedom: how much of one is worth the other."

—L Magazine
 

Big Thick Rod

by Stanton Wood

4 Males, 1 Female

Synopsis:  Elmer believes he's found the perfect bride in a wood nymph named Cricket.  She's beautiful, intelligent, funny, and she wants to have sex constantly.  Unfortunately, Elmer can't keep up, and he's man enough to admit it.  So he locks her in the library to avoid having sex, where Cricket reads up on how humans do things.  Pretty soon she's hiring a gardener to "tend her bush", and when he can't keep up she's pimping out and exploiting a simple handyman named Rod through an outlandish contract that demands chicken suits, bus loads of foreign tourists, and a bordello set up in an abandoned subway toilet.  Elmer is angry, Rod is tired, and the gardener is growing a third arm, but Cricket is just confused.  Isn't she supposed to screw the ones she loves?